Taking Up Space

Like many women, I have struggled with body image and self-esteem my entire life. As I write this, I’d like to say that I have completely changed and am now a beacon of body-positivity, butin truth it is still something I continue to battle. In fact, the phrase ‘take up space’ doesn’t really sit right with me because I’ve always tried not to do that. I didn’t want to be noticed for my size. In high school, I was convinced that people were judging my food choices and the pace at which I ate. I drank a Slimfast shake every day for breakfast for roughly four years. In middle school, I can recall when I hit 100lbs when most of the girls in my class were still in the 80s and 90s. I tried to go days without eating, but only lasted about two. To paraphrase Homer Simpson, food was cause of and solution to all of my problems. It was a vicious cycle.

For a long time, I hated my body. If you asked middle school me what I liked about myself I would have struggled to name a single part of myself that I didn’t despise. These unhelpful beliefs are so intertwined with my identity that it has (and will) taken years to start loving myself even a little bit.

Strength training was the catalyst for this positive change.

I began weight lifting (in the most basic sense) after I graduated college. My mom was using a personal trainer and she invited me to a few sessions with her. That trainer, a powerhouse of a woman with a background in body building, taught me the three big lifts: squat, bench, and deadlift. Prior to this point, I had never touched a barbell. During one of our sessions, she said, "You’re really strong. Seriously, one of my strongest female clients”. That was the key moment for me: I was doing something that I enjoyed and I was doing it well. As I continued to train with her, I became more confident in my way around the weights and the gym. I stopped hesitating to move around people to get to the free weights or ask if someone was using a bench or squat rack. Lifting helped me gain confidence.

For me, this new-found confidence gave me the courage to make bold choices like deciding to move overseas for several years. While I lived in these different countries, I sought out gyms with weight equipment. Even in unfamiliar places, I knew what I wanted: I wanted to be strong. Somehow, in the process of becoming stronger physically, I gained strength in a number of other ways.

Another reason I don’t like the phrase “taking up space” is because it has the negative

connotation that the space did not belong to me in the first place. When I returned to the U.S., I found a powerlifting gym and community of powerful men and women that I’m now fortunate to call my friends. I was humbled immediately, and am almost daily, by how strong everyone was and how little I knew of the sport. Despite my perceived shortcomings, I still felt like I belonged. I was welcomed and encouraged to take up space.

I tell you all of this to say: I hope you know that you are not taking up space. You are in the space you are meant to be in if that is where you want to be. You are not a burden and you are not in the way. You are powerful and capable of remarkable things. Please don’t forget that.

Bio: Meghan Tankersley is an educator and amateur strongwoman based in Greenville, South Carolina. She began competing in strength sports in 2021 and has been hooked ever since. When she's not in the classroom or gym, you can find her napping with her dog Ewok.